Growing Pains

The next day Mary and Joseph found Jesus in the Temple seated among the teachers, listening to them and asking questions. And Jesus matured, growing up in both body and spirit, blessed by both God and people. ~ Luke 2:46,52 (The Message)

In middle school, we (the boys) had Coach Ard’s physical education class right before lunch. We loved Coach Ard so much that on April Fool’s Day we moved his desk into our showers. He laughed when he found it and told us, “You have five minutes to get this desk back into my office, or you’ll be running for the entire class tomorrow.” We complied out of respect for Coach Ard.

P.E. was a blast. We played dodgeball, frisbee football, and kickball; and we talked to Coach Ard about all the great things we would accomplish on the fields and courts for the Wylie Pirates. Coach Ard always said, “We’ll see. You must put in the time.”

The one P.E. class that no one liked was circuit training day. Coach Ard would set up twenty stations around our old gym. At each station, for ninety seconds, we would do a physical activity designed to increase our strength, co-ordination, or stamina. We would do push-ups, sit-ups, running in place, shuttle-runs with erasers, running up and down the bleachers, bench presses, leg presses, jump squats, throwing medicine balls, and sprinting around the gym. Circuit training was exhausting and painful, and we complained.

“If you want to be successful, you have to put in the time,” Coach Ard would yell, and then he’d blow his whistle which told us to move on to the next station of agony. “No pain, no gain,” Coach would remind us again and again. “You have to pay the price if you want to be great!” We mumbled under our breath.

On circuit training days, a few of us would always sit out. “Coach, I have growing pains. The doctor told me not to do anything that might aggravate my growing pains.” No one had growing pains when we played dodge ball, just on circuit training days. Coach Ard would let us sit out for free one time, but we had to bring a doctor’s note if we wanted to be excused again.

Growing physically bigger, faster, and stronger was not an easy process, and we resisted. Thank God, Coach Ard was pretty patient with us.

When we stop growing physically, do we continue to experience “growing pains” throughout our lives? What happens when our youthful dreams vanish? What happens when we experience the intimacy and the pain of death and loss? What do we do when cherished relationships shatter like glass hitting the pavement? How do we live when “old truths” handed down to us turn out to be false? Do we have growing pains when the world we know gets turned upside down?

Paula D’Arcy, a retreat leader, recalls how her life was changed by the deep pain and grief of losing her husband and daughter to a drunk driver. “I had an overwhelming sense that everything I had ever believed was too small—not necessarily wrong but needing to grow or expand. I had a growing sense that the darkness I felt was not darkness without hope. The dark was luminous—the healing force of love. I realized I needed to change how I understood life.”

Father Richard Rohr writes, “An evolutionary faith (a dynamic, growing faith), understands that nothing is static. As the universe unfolds, our understanding of God and life evolves and deepens, and our spiritual and mental development surely evolves as well. We simply cannot, as adults, live by the same overly simplistic rules that governed us as children.”

Do we want to continue to grow spiritually and mentally, or do we just want to stay the same? Are we willing to examine our consciousness, our shadows, our motives, our way of life? Or would we rather just “sit out”?

Jesus sits with great teachers, and he listens to them and asks questions. “Hearing and asking questions is the regular Jewish phrase for a student learning from his teachers. Jesus was listening to the discussions and eagerly searching for knowledge and wisdom like an avid student,” says William Barclay. Jesus grew in heart and soul.

Are we willing to grow as individuals, as a community, a nation, and a world community? I wonder if we are having growing pains. Are we willing to listen and ask hard questions about race, misogyny, white supremacy, women’s rights, war, and guns? It is easier just to get a note from the doctor and not participate.

“The point appears to be not just to stay the same your whole life but to grow, to really grow and open, grow in seeing, grow in awareness,” writes Paula D’Arcy. As people of faith, Sister Ilia Delio says the Spirit calls us “to become midwives of divinity in this evolving cosmos. We are to be wholemakers of love in a world of change.”

Coach Ard followed us from middle school to high school. My senior year the expectations were high for our football team. I remember sweltering under the hot sun in August as we practiced and practiced, reaching for perfection. “No pain no gain.” The coaches got upset with me and started screaming and yelling. It did not stop.

After practice, I sat alone outside our fieldhouse, wondering if I wanted to finish the season. Coach Ard appeared and sat down next to me. “Pretty rough out there today,” he said. “Yeah,” I replied. He put his arm around me and held me. “I believe in you, and we can go through this together. Hang in there.” He was a “midwife of divinity,” a healing voice in my pain. I remember him when the storms of life come.

All of us will have hardships in life, but with the Spirit we can grow in love, kindness, and empathy because of them.

May we become midwives of divinity in our evolving cosmos. May we plant seeds of grace amid strife. May we listen and ask hard questions. May we grow and become more like Christ.

Blessings and peace,

Craig

Posted in Meditations.